What makes addiction so powerful?

This was the summer of 2012, I was working an entry level job in an accounting department. The gig was great though; I had a well-paying job through my high school co-op program. There I was sitting in my high walled cubicle, drawing my favourite character from my latest addiction “League of Legends”. All I could think about that summer was going back home and filling my life with more league.

The summer prior, my entire life revolved around the new Call of Duty game. The pattern was the same. Wake up, play Black Ops, hang out with friends in the evening. Typical teenager stuff.  

What I didn’t realize at that time is what I was doing, and what our brains are doing. What I want to share today is why our brain latches onto something like this. My parents could tell me every day that these games are addicting and they’re right, but only partly. They’re addicting because of how they interact with all of us. Every person reacts differently to addiction and what it fulfils for them.  

The inflection point 

My wife and I got to go on our honeymoon in 2025. The opportunity to take in different cultures, slow down your life is truly a blessing. In walking through the Azulejos that decorate Lisbon, we found the world’s oldest active library. I was able to pick up a copy of Atomic Habits by James Clear.  

From his book, I was able to better understand the ques that enable our behaviours and make us act in a certain way. Using the example above, if I’m waking up every day and playing video games for 6-8 hours, that’s going to reinforce that behaviour and I would most certainly come back to the source of my fun. 

What itch is it scratching for you? 

In understanding the psychology, using the teachings of Dr. K, known as “HealthyGamerGG” on YouTube. We can understand fun as the thing that prepares us to tackle the real big problems we encounter in life. The problem with video games is that it’s an artificial fun. In Dr. K’s teachings, video games from a psychological lense scratch a certain itch for us. That itch is what drives us everyday to fulfill the needs of who we are, what we’re genetically predisposed to. The many itches that video games can scratch include a sense of autonomy, mastery, competitiveness, emotional regulation, and a sense of community.  

Using another example, I was neck deep into competitive Valorant for about 2 years of my life. My goal being that I wanted to achieve an apex tier on the ranked ladder. I committed time, money, and everything I had every day for 2 years to achieve this. This includes everything from my social commitments, my work, and my physical health. Although I turned some of that around because of the very reason I got into it: competition, and triumph.  

How powerful you can be

At the beginning of 2022, I had a realization that others were surpassing me in terms of physical peak. I was 27, I should’ve been stronger, faster but I couldn’t keep up post covid in my local soccer league. I went from 200 pounds to 150 pounds in 5 months using that same drive that drove me in video games. This time there was an outcome that’s made me happier than when I eventually achieved my Valorant goal.  

The hole it was filling was something that other aspects in my real life weren’t. This includes my professional career. I was using my work time to play, to practice, while just doing enough and letting my career fall. This is exactly where I find myself now, still feeling lost with my career and professional life, 3 years later. It was easier to achieve an artificial rank than to deal with my real life problems.

It always gets easier 

Our personalities are geared towards certain things that make it easier for us to do better in one area vs another. It can feel so much easier for one person to achieve greatness in something with their hard work. Where it might feel as if you’re fighting everything in your body to get through with it. When it comes to what video games feed, it could be a sense of community that you crave. This can happen through games with strong, positive communities that meet your needs. The issue as noted in my example is that it won’t give you anything tangible, you could become socially anxious because of it.  

The good news is that our brains are so powerful when it comes to meeting our needs that they will do whatever it takes meet those needs. Through therapy and professional help, I figured out that meeting my sense of community and belonging needs was through sports. I would gravitate towards it because the setting was easier to be part of. We can use this circuitry to our advantage and start to throw ourselves that things that might meet those needs. In Dr. K’s advice, he speaks about picking 3 items from a long list that we can try each week for 3 weeks. I even started this blog and hopefully create some more content in the hopes to fill my strong desire for autonomy.  

If you’re scared, nervous, or anxious about your current situation and what it might be holding you back from, don’t fret. It starts here, it starts with understanding and shining a light on these topics for your brain to create a label and recognize the pattern. You’re already halfway there.  

Venturing into the unknown 

Video games are still such an important part of my life, and I don’t think I would ever replace it fully. It’s important though to note that changing your patterns and your behaviours are powered by more than just your desires. They require actionable steps, they require consistent effort, and a change in environment. We need to change the way we do things, otherwise we’ll end up in the same spot. I have continued in my field of study, but it hasn’t filled any part of my life other than provide me with the security I need to pursue my real passions. So that’s what my next chapter will look like, explore and dig deeper.